Distasteful |
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It's No Joke |
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EXTRA! LOTT UPDATE SLAVES RELEASED FROM
TRENT LOTT'S BASEMENT
  The Stovall family (above) had lived in Lott’s basement for 23 years. By Romulus Shelnutt Acting on an anonymous tip, police raided the Capitol Hill townhouse of Senate Minority Leader Trent Lott and found a family of slaves living in squalid conditions beneath ground. Fourteen members of the Stovall family blinked when led into the daylight before an astonished audience of Capitol Hill neighbors. “It’s extraordinary,” said Capitol Police Chief Terry Gainer, “but Mrs. Lott objected to their release. She said the Stovalls had been Lott family property since the early 1800s.” Neighbor Elizabeth Fieldston, who had known the Lotts since 1990, said that a hysterical Patricia Lott complained to her that part of the Stovall family was her own personal property, and “they were a wedding present.” When Ms. Fieldston asked Patricia Lott if she had ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation, she responded that, “Trent told me that it was only for Negroes in the North.” Senator Lott, meanwhile, was in Fort Sumter, South Carolina at a Civil War reenactment. According to Senate aides, Lott told them, “This time I know the South will win.” It’s long been known that Lott harbored a fondness for segregation and the Confederacy but found this latest development startling. “I knew he cozied up to racists,” said Florida Senator Bob Graham, “but I thought that was just to get votes. But slaves in the basement? I mean this is a bit much.” Retiring Senator Jesse Helms, however, lept to Lott’s defense. “Senator Lott is no more a racist than I am,” asserted Helms, “and moreover, this is a matter properly handled by the states, not the all-intrusive federal government.” |
  One Rectangular Square Planning Commission Approves Boxy, Glassy Office BuildingBy Jason Joist WASHINGTON, Dec. 6 -- In a break with tradition, the DC Planning Commission last night approved a proposed glass-fronted, rectangular office building for the K Street Corridor. When completed, the building, tentatively called One Rectangular Square, will stand at 17th and L, Northwest. But already the plans are drawing worldwide attention. “Finally, something with 90 degree corners!” exclaimed New York Times architecture critic Michael Kimmelman, “It’s about time that Washington had a structure that reflects the plodding rationalism that the city exudes. This is, I hope, a new direction for a city that was always too, too zany.” But not everyone saw it that way. “I never thought we’d see that kind of structure in Washington,” said Eleanor Phibbs, 71. “This city has always prided itself on whimsical, imaginative architecture…and now this!” The building breaks more new ground in its choice of tenants. These will include law, lobbying and public relations firms.
© The Washington Pox 2002 |