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 SADDAM TO AXIS OF EVIL, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION  Saddam Hussein (Left) Caught On Film At Axis of Evil Convention By A.W. Hammerlock NEW YORK, FEB. 5 – U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell today offered incontrovertible evidence that Iraq’s Saddam Hussein had formally joined the Axis of Evil. Powell’s dramatic testimony was accompanied by a PowerPoint presentation that left diplomats speechless. Slide after slide clearly showed Saddam in the company of other known evildoers, as he often laughed at their evil jokes or helped them with their evil plans. Then Powell played a taped intercept that made the connection even more evil:
Saddam: Hey, Hitler, got any bombs? Really big bombs? Hitler: Uh, no, but I think Mussolini there has a few left over, why? Saddam: No reason. I thought maybe we’d hook up with Al Qaeda—you remember Al—and unleash a wave of terror on the freedom-loving peoples of the world. Mussolini: Sure, I can get you some really explody bombs. Tojo: Just be sure to strike first. We did. Hitler: And look what happened to you. (All Laugh)
Probable Shoes of Iraqi Bomb Makers Then, the Secretary dimmed the lights and projected a startling spy satellite photo capable of resolving down to one millimeter at ground level. The photo clearly showed the alleged shoes of probable Iraqi scientists who, said Powell, “are capable of making nuclear weapons within six to 12 months.” Powell spoke for over an hour, repeating the evidence and making a strong case for killing Iraqis “of every shape and size.” He then urged the United Nations to “stop all this diplomacy crap and get the show moving.” Photo credits, clockwise from top left: Publicity still, The Double-Crossed Fool, Favorite Films ;Library of Congress; Library of Congress |
To You The Reader
 By Alec Dubro When we started the Washington Pox more than a half century ago, we chose a very simple credo—We Usually Tell the Truth. Over the years we have been tempted many times to violate this principle for readership, money or influence, but each time we have stuck to our guns. The Pox is proud of its independent, family ownership and the fact that it stands apart from the huge media corporations, unless one of them makes us an offer. And the results speak for themselves. Today, no politician in Washington would dream of starting the week without first consulting the Pox. Why, he or she might as well be an independent. When the Pox is quoted, either in the committee room or on the floor of Congress, you can be sure that someone is making every effort to conceal or distort the issue. Indeed, The Pox provides our elected, appointed and self-styled leaders with the kind of intellectual ammunition they need to thoroughly obfuscate every matter from the greatest to the smallest. Which brings me to my first point. For our new readers, I want to promise once again that not only do we frequently tell the truth, but at no time will we ever use documents or sworn testimony. If somebody tells us something, that’s good enough for us. After all, if you can’t trust your close friends or anonymous sources, well then you might as well close up shop. Secondly, although a picture is worth a thousand words, a doctored photo is often worth much more than that. That’s why we promise to wring photos and graphics till they sing. If they do not precisely illustrate the point we wish to make, we’re willing to work long hours until the photo appears to back our position. And thirdly, in this age of information and commercial overload, we make two other provisional promises to you, the reader. We will not accept advertising from fly-by-night dishonest businesspeople who might not pay us. And we will not use those annoying pop-up ads because we can’t figure out how to do them. And lastly, there is the matter of constancy. We promise to publish each and every Monday—if we feel like it. And you can bank on that.
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