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 Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) Suggested Creature From The Black Lagoon To Fill Sandra O’Connor’s Seat By LaTuna Albacore WASHINGTON, July 13 – Senate Democrats, concerned that the balance of the Supreme Court might change from ultra-conservative to neo-fascist, have asked President Bush to make his choice bi-partisan. “I understand,” said Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid, “that the President can name the hideous right-wing mutant of his choice. But in the interests of national unity, we propose that he name a moderate hideous mutant instead of an extremist hideous mutant.” Democrats suggested several such moderates including the four-armed alien from Battlestar Galactica; Ogar, leader of the Mole People; the Radar Man from the Moon; and the Creature from the Black Lagoon (above). Said Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), “It would be a shame if Bush named an extreme hideous mutant such as the Metalune Mutant from ‘This Island Earth’ or, God forbid, one of the Evil Undead. I think we might filibuster against that.” Polls suggest that while the American public rejects extreme right-wing mutantism, most would be willing to accept a Supreme Court justice who pretends to uphold Roe v. Wade and “would not eat too many of its colleagues.” Americans by a wide majority assume that the next hideous justice will vote to dismantle all forms of social support and will favor sending the poor to some other planet for “processing.”
 WHITE HOUSE DENOUNCES MEXICAN STAMP SAYING, "IMAGES SUCH AS THESE HAVE NO PLACE IN TODAY'S WORLD" McClellan praised racial stereotype on right "That one is OK, the Indians love it" By Karl T. Drano, Jr. White House spokesman Scott McClellan sharply criticized a series of Mexican stamps celebrating a well-loved but grotesque caricature of an African-Mexican boy named Memin Pinguin. Mclellan said that oversize lips, exaggerated eyes and an apelike head are "offensive." When asked about the Cleveland Indians' logo of a grotesquely caricatured Native American, McClellan responded, "that's different. The Indian people love him and besides it would cost millions to change it." |
(These are from years ago, but they seem fresh as ever)
“DARK AND EVIL” SEEN EMERGING FROM KARL ROVE 
WASHINGTON, Feb. 20 -- Was it an illusion or a sign from below? Dozens saw it and are only now admitting they were profoundly distressed at the “eminence,” as one put it, that seemed to slowly emerge from Karl Rove at a recent Republican strategy session. Others who were present are maintaining a close-lipped denial. Whatever it was, the spirit-like sighting cast a cloud over many otherwise giddy Republicans. Rove was widely seen as the guiding intelligence behind the Republicans’ November victory, but some are questioning whether that intelligence was his alone. “I think we’ve seen a pretty clear sign that Rove made a pact with the devil in order to win that one,” said one RNC staffer who requested anonymity. “I wonder what the real cost will be for those few congressional seats,” he asked.
FEELING THE STRESS OF WAR TURN TO DRINK FOR SOLACE 
KUWAIT CITY, April 2 – “This war will be the death of me,” a Reuters correspondent told The Pox. She was referring to the overlooked fact that reporters with the troops are getting more than four times the number of bylines as those stuck in Kuwait and Doha, Qatar. The strain, she said, had turned many media workers to drink. In addition to filing unattributed stories, many reporters, producers and crews are forced to attend U.S. and British briefings where, said one, “It’s hard to concentrate.” It is now common to see reporters fall asleep in the briefing rooms, and others to lapse into sullen daydreaming. “It’s the stress of war,” said ABC’s Josh Teitelbaum, “no wonder they’re falling apart.” Teitelbaum and others report that media people get together “nearly every day” and drink till they’re driven to their hotels late at night. “This is unheard of,” said British ITV producer Cameron Blemby, “no Englishman I know of would drink to excess unless they were under this unbearable stress of byline-deprivation.” After more than three weeks of this, many reporters are leaving for the Seychelles and other Indian Ocean resorts where, said one, “you don’t have to think about being a second-string player.”
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